The first question you have to ask yourself is this: How important was this relationship for me?
You can even answer on a five point scale like they do on questionnaires. So, if you are getting a 4 or 5, it should be an indicator that you MUST give this a second go, assuming of course that your ex has a similar score ! Whether it was a dating relationship or a marriage on the rocks, this will be the strongest signal that you can make a go at getting back with your ex.
In ending a relationship, it is like coming to a road block. The police are there and the traffic has stopped. That road block could represent a mistake you or your ex made but that is no reason why you both cannot have a second chance. Giving love a second chance is something you cannot rush through - the road block is going to take some time before the police let you through!
Second question :- What WAS the problem? If that problem can be overcome or that issue resolved, then you have great chance of getting past that road block. So, you have to be able to work on that problem and that means a willingness on both sides. If that is missing then you will not be likely to get your ex back on a permanent basis.
If infidelity was the cause of the problem, that will be a difficult one to overcome because you are trying to repair the broken trust. If there is heartbreak involved because of that infidelity, then it may take quite a long time, but both partners have to believe that that trust can be regained.
Sometimes marriage counselling or similar advice from an independent source can help to repair the damage.
Third Question :- How do I look to my partner and how do I present myself? Even if you are suffering you do not have to come across as desperate.You have to present an even more attractive and confident version of the old you - that is the only way you can rekindle that spark.
Fourth Question :- Why am I making all this effort? If the answer is a resounding 'because I want my ex back more than anything', then you are on the right track. You know that you are going to be much better off in a secure loving relationship with your ex. You just cannot conceive life without him/her. If the answers to all four questions are crystal clear, then you have a good chance of getting back with your ex.
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